Maren Elizabeth

All my posts are such downers -- let's talk about something happy for a change, shall we? Her name. We get lots of questions about that.

First off, how do you pronounce it? I tell people the first syllable rhymes with car or jar or bar. MAR-en. I know some people want to pronounce it MARE, like a female horse, but I'm told MAR is the traditional Norwegian pronunciation, which leads to . . .

What kind of name is Maren? Well, it's Norwegian. Here's the story. When we were pregnant with James, we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, so we considered lots of names for both. One Saturday morning, Kevin was checking out baby names on a Norwegian baby name website.

For those of you who don't know Kevin very well, he's only one-fourth Norwegian, but he thinks he's a full-on VIKING.

"How about Axl?" he asked. Um, no. Reminds me of Guns n' Roses. "Tor?" he tried. Nope. Makes me think of a ripped page in a book. He didn't get much more positive responses to the girl's list until he said, "Maren."

Every teacher knows how hard it is to find a name you like that hasn't been forever ruined by some student. I'd only met one Maren in my life, twenty years earlier when I was a camp counselor. She was a sweet and spunky little fourth grader, so the name had zero negative connotations connected to it. It was put on the short list, and by the time we went to the hospital a few months later, Maren was our girl name and James was our boy name.

When we found out we were pregnant again, we agreed we both still liked Maren and would call her that if she were a girl.

Now for a middle name. I always thought if I had a girl, I'd give her my middle name, Ann. It's also my mom's middle name, and her mom's name was Anna. I like a little family legacy. When we went to the hospital to have James, we were coming home with either Maren Ann or James Nils. (Nils is Kevin's middle name, and yes, Norwegian.)

But at that twelve-week ultrasound, when the doctor warned us that there was likely a problem, I started thinking of a different middle name. Chances seemed high that our baby had Down Syndrome. I had a feeling she was a girl, and although we've come a long way as a society, there are still a lot of ignorant people who would look at her funny or even call her names. She was going to have to be a tough little girl, so I began thinking of her as Maren Elsie Anna. Elsie and Anna were my grandmothers, two of the greatest ladies I ever knew. I felt like giving their names to my little girl would be giving her an extra shot of strength to get through the many challenges of her future.

After the amniocentesis, it became clear Maren would have a very short life. We've had to make decisions I never imagined we would, like selecting a tiny coffin and choosing a burial site. The thought of seeing my grandmothers' names on another tombstone was too much. I scrapped the idea before I even talked to Kevin about it.

Elizabeth had been on my list of girl names two years ago. I love classic names (like James) because there won't be five of them in first grade, but it will never be completely unpopular either. Elizabeth also happens to be the name of the heroine of one of my all-time favorite books, Pride and Prejudice. But more than anything, we got the Trisomy 13 news during Advent, and the Biblical Elizabeth was on my mind. I can relate to Elizabeth -- although not nearly as old as her, there were times in my life when I wondered if I'd ever have a child. And knowing Maren's diagnosis, I prayed I'd feel lots of movement like Elizabeth felt John leap in her womb. Our prayers have been answered in that way, as our little soccer star kicks throughout the day and night.

So there you have it, the story behind Maren Elizabeth, our little Norwegian princess (no relation to the cruise line). Thanks for praying for her!!